A Secret

I do this thing.

I like to read other people's blogs. But not the super famous or popular or "interesting" blogs. Just little blogs, sometimes written by people I know, sometimes not.

My favorites are the ones I know, though.

Because, see, a lot of people make a blog, then either tell a few friends about it or don't tell anyone about it. And then they just post these incredibly personal, insightful things that they think no one would ever read. But I sometimes feel like they secretly hope someone they know will read it and it's like a window into themselves that they couldn't open just through texting, or in school, or talking face to face, even in one of those deep late night conversations.

There's one girl who goes to my school, and she's got several blogs scattered across the internet. I love reading hers because of the dichotomy.

At school, she's known as the fairly cool, snarky, funny girl. Somewhat of a trouble maker. Hipster. Smokes cigarettes and never takes anything too seriously. At least, that's how she presents herself.

But from reading her blog, I really got to know her, better than I ever would just from hanging out with her at school. She's scared of the future. Even though she mocks religion around other people, it's only because she's so confused about it herself. Through blogging she makes herself vulnerable and I (and whoever else stumbles upon her blogs) get to see her.

There's a book I really like called Paper Towns. It's all about how people see each other, and how so often people misimagine each other. They think they know someone from what that person has shown them, but there's so much more underneath that. It also deals with how so many people don't actually see others as human in the same way they are. They either hold people up like gods or dismiss them as "less". I know I do it. People I haven't even met.

And maybe that book is why I like seeing this other side of people. Because this girl, the one whose blog I've been reading all morning, right now seems like the most real, most human person in the world.

I wish I could see everyone like this.